Bobo and I have been hanging out on the Gilli Islands; tiny squares of paradise in the Bali Sea. There are no motorcycles on the island, which makes for an altogether quieter experience of Indonesia. We have snorkelled, swam in the sea repeatedly and then yesterday took a guided snorkel excursion to visit Gilli Meno and Gilli Air. We saw 5 sea turtles, which was incredible. They just bobbed along, minding their own business, unaware of the fascination they were causing amongst the humans! My favourite fish were the tye-dye fish, the burglar fish (white and black stripe) and the arrow fish.
We stopped for lunch on Gilli Air, the smallest of the islands and also the most exclusive (hence why us peasants were not staying there!) We saw another snorkelling group in the restaurant but I was merrily chatting away to people on my group (practicing my assertive first sound this week) so I didn't take much notice. Imagine my surprise when a friendly face from my past tapped me on the shoulder and enveloped me in a great big bear hug! It was my friend Jonny, who I lived with at the zoo and have not seen for ages! It was bizarre to be so far away from home and to see such a familiar face! It was lovely to hear his news and he said that I seemed really different now, and much happier than when we lived together.
This week, a challenging speaking situation occurred. My brother is actually the friendliest person I have ever met in my life and literally chats to everyone. He got talking to a Canadian man in a bar on the island, and when I went over to join them, the Canadian asked me my name. Blindsided slightly, I had a teeny block on my name, so I stopped, tried again and was successful. Despite this, the man laughed and started making fun of me.... Now, some of you who have been reading my blog from the start may recall the episode in Peru, where the girls on the Inca Trail were making fun of me and I didn't do anything about it. I just sat in my tent and cried (only a little bit, but back then i was still really new at this speaking eloquently lark and I felt that their jokes and impressions were mean and uncalled for). Anyway, back to the story- the point was that I did nothing. I let them make me feel small and awful and I did nothing.
I learnt a lot from that episode: namely that I never wanted to feel that way again. So, I sat and ordered food, gave myself time to gather my thoughts and then practicised with my brother what I was going to say to this man, as I felt that I needed to do a strong cancellation of the experience, as well as educate him to stop him from doing it to someone else.
I went over to him, gave a concise disclosure about my stammer and then explained about why a cancellation is important (so that when I am next asked my name, I will remember the most recent experience as a strong and positive situation during which I was in control). I said my name again to him, using a strong, deep tone from the chest. I'll give him his due, he apologised sincerely and then tried to dig his way out of the hole by saying that he thought, "I was really hot"...! Nice try buddy, but it won't wash with me! The main thing is that if he meets someone with a stammer again, he won't behave like such a complete tool. Job done.
