Following the leech episode, I decided to leave the jungle and make for the relaxing island of Ko Tao, which I had been assured had no "friends" to plague me. Ko Tao was sunny, the pool and beach were both much appreciated and despite nearly getting bottled by a bar owner, all was well. I spent a long time on the beach considering my options about Borneo and the leech situation. The outcome is: I've paid for the flights and the tours, so there is no way I am not going, but I will invest in another pair of leggings that I can seal around my ankles with socks and elastic bands. I can also tuck vests into the waist of the leggings and tie with a belt. I'm taking no chances...
Ko Tao also offered a nightly ladyboy show called 'Queens', which I was pleasantly surprised with. The costumes, makeup and choreography were stellar, and my toe immediately started tapping along to Beyonce and Lady Gaga. Some songs were unfamiliar to my companions, however my love of Eurovision song contests ensured that I knew every hit, most notably Dana International's "Diva"- a call to arms for ladyboys everywhere!
This week I also mentally prepared myself for the fact that as of today, I am going it alone! I fly to Singapore at 6.30pm tonight, and apart from having to be in Kuala Lumpur on Friday 22nd October, Malaysia is my oyster. In true Roamin' Reedy style, I have a rough plan but I also want to see where the time takes me. For the past week, I have been writing 3 positive comments about my speech in my daily diary, to boost my morale and confidence. I think this has worked as I am excited to make new friends and ready to face the speaking challenges ahead! Toastmasters tomorrow night is my first challenge, so wish me luck everyone!
I have also gone into overdrive showing and telling people what I am doing to desensitise myself even further. The reaction I get from people when I disclose to them continues to surprise me and warms my heart. In particular, I have been travelling with a lovely Brummie belly dancer named Helen who was so kind and patient when I met her and had to battle with some words, as well as a surgeon from London who approached me the day after I told him about my stammering recovery to say that after reflecting on my disclosure, he thought what I was doing was "amazing and inspirational". During the first few weeks of my recovery, I rang every coach on the McGuire telephone list as part of my practice, and one advised me to keep a note of positive comments/situations where I was happy with my speech, to keep me going through the hard times. I am so glad I did this because it is easy to forget words of encouragement and just focus on the negative.
FAO McGuire Grads: writing down success stories really works! If you are having a turbulent day, sneaking a look at your positive memory bank instantly moves the hexagon into the positive, so do it!
I've been instigating as many conversations with random strangers as possible, to gain confidence that I am able to be assertive when in an unfamiliar speaking situation. My mindset has shifted from being scared about strangers laughing at my speech, to being slightly mercenary and using people to practice on! If they become friends, brilliant. If not, it was useful practice anyway.
I'll probably blog more this month so that you all know my whereabouts and that I am alive. If you do not hear from me for a week or more, alert the police and foreign office, please!
P.S: T-minus 10 hours until Marks and Spencers food to go biscuits. Just saying...
